Love is one of those things that so many people think they have neatly packed in a box with no room for surprises or contradiction. But the thing is, love is not what today’s culture says it is. Love is not a noun, it’s not just a feeling, and it’s not something you fall into. Love is a verb, a connection, and something that takes work and a lot of patience. I don’t claim to fully understand what love is, or even how it looks, but I do know that it’s something that takes effort.
So if love isn’t a noun or a feeling, then why does it make us act so goofy? Why do I get butterflies in my stomach? Why do I feel like I can do anything just because someone special is holding my hand (that would be you, David)? And then there is the other side of things. Why, if I love this person so much, do I feel so frustrated with him at times? Why can he get on my very last nerve?
If you have been in a relationship for over a year or two, you know that the beginning of the relationship is filled with all sorts of good emotions. Some people call this the “honeymoon phase” but there is a proper word for this kind of love, which is the Greek word Eros. Eros love is mostly chemical based, which is why our emotions are so high when we first start a relationship. There is another kind of love that is usually there from the beginning, and this is phileo love (brotherly/friendship love). There isn’t a whole lot of agape love (unconditional love) at the beginning of a relationship because that comes later with time and trust.
My point is, any good, lasting relationship will have all three kinds of love (sometimes all at once, or in stages). Once you and your sweetie move past the “honeymoon phase,” it becomes a little more work to stay in love. Eventually those goofy emotions and butterflies will fade (not completely though), and you will have to make a decision. Are you going to love him even though there’s hard times, or will you let your emotions get the best of you and find someone new who gives you butterflies all over again? If the relationship is right and God-honouring, I promise you the first option (to fight for your relationship) is the best choice you could make. David and I made that choice a long time ago (to always fight for each other and our relationship), and it was the best thing we could have done for our relationship.