Phileo: Companionate Love

The difference between the two genders never ceases to amaze me. The moment you think you have the opposite gender all figured out, something happens that makes you feel just as lost as you felt before. And no matter how long you have been with someone, you will always learn something new. Of course you know a lot about the person you’re with, and – oh my goodness – you can even finish each other’s sentences. You know their favourite flavour of sour patch kids. And you even know that they really don’t like that one movie with that one person in it.

But there is one thing that takes the cake when it comes to my confusion about men. It’s the phrase “Just come here and sit with me while we watch a movie (or watch tv, or cook dinner, or write a paper).” It’s honestly very confusing to hear this when I have things to do and David just wants me to come and sit with him. I mean, we’re not really doing anything just sitting there watching tv, right? I could be doing plenty of other things, and he knows that. But I recently learned that men are energized by the presence of their (girlfriends, fiancées) wives. They love when we’re around. Have you ever noticed when you watch a guy play sports and some girls walk in (or maybe his girlfriend, fiancée, or wife) and he suddenly can make that basket or shoot straight into the net?

For some reason, and let’s be real… we kinda know the reason, men act a lot different when women are around. So, when David asks me to “come sit” with him, he’s asking me to work on our friendship. I realized (when I read Love & Respect, of course) that a man needs his wife to be his best friend. I think that’s so cool. Men definitely need their buddies, but there is something different about a wife being her husband’s best friend.

The phrase “come and sit with me” doesn’t bother me anymore. It just means that my fiancé wants to work on our friendship, because that is important to him. A good relationship does not consist of one person giving and the other person getting all the time. There needs to be an attitude of serving each other because you love each other. Working on each other’s different needs is a great way of serving,  and it’s a lot more rewarding.


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